Why I married at 22?
I recall having a conversation with a co-worker a few weeks after my wedding. He saw a ring on my finger and asked
Co-worker – “Are you married now?”
Me: “yea bro, just happened a few weeks ago”
Co-worker – “That’s the worst decision you could ever make, How old are you?”
Me: I gave a little smirk and responded “22”.
Co-worker- “What’s the rush man? Enjoy your life properly”
Because of the generation we are in, I know I will encounter many of these conversations. It seems like marriage is a no enter zone, yet everyone seems to have a “significant other” or a “common law-partner. I’d rather stick to the terms the bible uses, such as husband and wife. While I can give many reasons of why I decided to marry early, I will give you 3 reasons that came to mind while writing this article.
- I found a good godly thing.
Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
At the age of 15 I met a young woman who was growing to love the Lord more and more everyday and that melted my heart. I was in the 10th grade when I told her that she was going to be my wife (lol, I didn’t even ask…soo unromantic). I wasn’t looking for a wife at that age but the Lord in his sovereignty decided to allow me to become close friends with a beautiful young woman who had such a humble and teachable spirit. She was so eager to learn more about Christ that it FORCED me to study the scriptures even more, and that’s what I loved. I felt as if we were on the same page concerning our walk of faith. We were in the same youth group at church so I actually got to see her grow consistently (My youth leaders changed my life lol). On top of that, from when I knew her she was already serving in the church. that showed me the potential she had to be a great wife. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with her and I told all the mandem, “IM WIFING THAT GIRL AT ALL COST BRO!”
- I was Physically and Spiritually ready.
I come from a culture where material things SOMETIMES overshadow the things that really matter. Since I was young and decided I want to marry early, I needed to gain the approval of all my guardians before I moved forward with the process of the marriage. And to get their approval meant money. They knew I was spiritually mature enough to head for marriage but….my money game was sooo weak (lol I had to use slang there, sorry). But a real man knows what he wants, and I WANTED THAT WOMAN. So I moved to another province in Canada (equivalent to another state), four hours by flight, or 2-3 days by driving and I got a decent paying job in law enforcement. I started working hard and trying to save harder. I eventually got my own place to live and so on. As a man you must be able to provide, BUT I will say this, you DO NOT need to be rich to get married, you just need to be settled Have your things together and show that you are mature, to take care and provide for another person or persons, cause a baby can happen at anytime….even with family planning. Also, since I am a Ghanaian-Canadian, I pretty much had two weddings: , A Ghanaian Traditional wedding, where the family permits and hands over their daughter, and a regular wedding we do in the church. I love my culture and would do it a million times over for my bride, but this is not necessarily for everyone, even those of my culture. (You didn’t hear it from me though). Spiritually speaking, your pastors and mentors should be able to see your maturity and advise you if you are ready to go through with it.
- Marriage is from God
All over the scriptures we see that marriage is truly a blessing. It is an institution ordained by God to display a picture of Christ and His Church. It is one of the greatest means of sanctification and it teaches us how to be selfless just as Christ was selfless. Even as youth in a generation like this, fornication is something that has become a huge issue amongst Christians. Sexual temptations are everywhere, in every corner. But the thing is, these urges are not wrong, they are actually from God but must be channeled in the right direction. This is another reason why marriage is heaven sent. Me and my wife were virgins till marriage but..Sex is AMAZING. (hope my moms not reading this lol), and God wants you to enjoy it. Sex is actually only for believers but we all know because of the fall of man, sin distorts anything that was made for good. I do not believe man was created to be alone, because even when we look at the example of the trinity, they are all in fellowship with each other and we can see God is most glorified when saints can come together and push the kingdom forward.
Do I advise young Christians to marry? Yes
I do because marriage is a gift from God and anything God gives is always good. Many young adults want to do things married people do without true commitment for better or worse. Marriage brings a new level of maturity in you and causes you to be focused on the things that really matter. I have seen successful marriages and many unsuccessful marriages., From the advice I had received from good marriages, both spouses have to come in with the same mentality and build only for the better. Nothing is easy and nothing comes easy but with hard work it WILL become successful. I pray this is a blessing to you all and inspire the younger people to pursue marriage in addition to already pursuing Jesus. Love y’all.